Chocolate Teapots

9 April 2026 By Simon

When something is useless you might say it’s as useful as a chocolate teapot or something similar.

Apparently it first appeared in print in an article entitled Shades of Bunker Hill! by Don berry in the Democrat and Chronicle (Rochester, New York, USA).

Other ways to say that something is useless include:

as much use as a chocolate teapot
(to) have a reliability record like a chocolate kettle
as much use as a chocolate fireguard
as much use as a chocolate fireplace
as much use as a handbrake on a canoe
as much use as a screen door on a submarine
as much use as a cat flap on a submarine
as much use as a waterproof towel
as much use as a dry day in the desert
as much use as a glass hammer
as useful as a paper boat
as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike
as useful as tits on a bull
as useful as a politician’s promise
as useful as a lead balloon

By the way, I made up a few of the sayings above. Can you guess which ones?

Equivalent phrases in other languages include:

Polish: potrzebny jak dziura w moście = needed like a hole in a bridge
Scottish Gaelic: cho feumail ri pàillean am fàsach = as useful as a palace in a wilderness
Vietnamese: cơn bão trong tách trà = a storm in a teacup

Do you know any others?

Incidentally, according to BBC News, chocolate teapots might not be as usesful as they are reputed to be.

Sources: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/useful_as_a_chocolate_teapot
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/useful_as_a_chocolate_teapot
https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/104958/origin-of-as-useful-as-a-chocolate-teapot-fireguard
https://www.powerthesaurus.org/as_much_use_as_a_chocolate_teapot/synonyms

Yexing

4 April 2026 By Simon

Have you yexed recently? If you have, what did you do to stop your yexes?

The word yex [jɛks] sounds like a made-up word you might find in a children’s book or linguistic experiment – the wug is yexing, yesterday it yex__. However, it is, in fact, a genuine English word, though archaic. As a noun, it means a hiccough / hiccup, belch or burp, and as a verb, it means to hiccough, belch or burp [source].

The verb to yex comes from Middle English yexen [ˈjɛksən] (to hiccough, belch, yawn, gulp, swallow convulsively, gasp, sob) from Old English ġiscian [ˈjis.ki.ɑn] (to sigh, sob), from Proto-West Germanic *giskōn (to gasp, yawn, gulp), from Proto-Indo-European *ǵeys- (gaping, cracked) [source].

The noun yex comes from Middle English yexe / ȝ(e)oxe (the condition of having the hiccoughs), from Old English ġeocsa [ˈjes.kɑ] (sobbing, hiccough), which comes from the same roots as the verb [source].

Words from the same roots include ye(e)sk (a hiccough, belch, the hiccoughs) and to yesk (to hiccough, belch, vomit) in Scots [source], and yux (to sob, weep loudly) in Yola [source].

Bread Vans

26 March 202628 March 2026 By Simon

What would you carry in a bread cart? It could be bread, but doesn’t have to be. Let’s find out more.

One word that came up in my Chinese lessons this week was 面包车 [麵包車] (miànbāochē) which can be literally translated as ‘bread vehicle / cart’. According to the MDBG Chinese dictionary, it means a van for carrying people or a taxi minibus. According to Wiktionary, it means a vehicle for delivering bread, or a minibus or van (chiefly in Mainland China).

Other words for van in Chinese include:

货车 [貨車] (huòchē) = truck, van, freight train, goods train, goods wagon
厢式车 [廂式車] (xiāngshìchē) = van
小型货车 [小型貨車] (xiǎoxínghuòchē) = light van
廂型車 [厢型车] (xiāngxíngchē) = minivan, van (used in Taiwan)

In Japanese, 貨車 (kasha) is also used, and means a freight train, a train car used to carry freight, or a van [source].

Incidentally, the word van can refer to: a covered motor vehicle used to carry goods or (normally less than 10) persons, usually roughly cuboid in shape. Depending on the type of van, it can be bigger or smaller than a pickup truck and SUV, and longer and higher than a car but relatively smaller than a truck/lorry or a bus [source].

It’s short for caravan, which comes from Middle French caravane (caravan – a group of travellers, merchants, and pilgrims, gathered together to cross the desert more safely), from Old French carvane, from Persian کاروان (kârvân – caravan, convoy), from Middle Persian kʾlwʾn’ (kārawān), from Old Persian 𐎣𐎠𐎼 (k-a-r – the people, subjects, army), from Proto-Iranian *kā́rah (army, crowd), from Proto-Indo-European *kór-o-s, from *ker- (army) [source].

The word vanguard (The leading units at the front of an army or fleet; The person(s) at the forefront of any group or movement) is not related. Instead, it comes from vandgard / (a)vantgard, from Old French avant-garde (the vanguard of an army or other force). This is also the root of the word avant-garde, which in English can refer to any group of people who invent or promote new techniques or concepts, especially in the arts. While in French, it can refer to the vanguard (of an army), or the avant-garde as in English [source].

guard’s van

A vanguard should not be confused with a guard’s van, which in the UK and Ireland can refer to a van or carriage, or part of one, on a train occupied by the guard, that can be used as storage space for parcels, bicycles, large pieces of luggage, etc. Such things are rarely found on modern passenger trains in the UK, though there may be a small cubbyhole for the train manager (formerly known as the guard), and/or storage space for bicycles on some trains [source].

Omniglot blog - Adventures in the world of words and language - 20 years old

By the way, the day this post was posted, 26th March 2026, marks exactly 20 years since I started this blog on 26th March 2006. Since then, I have posted 3,963 posts here, 3.8 per week on average, and plan to continue doing so. I realised this after posting this, and thought I’d mention it.

Mouchard

20 March 202620 March 2026 By Simon

One of the words that came up last night in the French conversation group was mouchard, which means an informant and various other things. I thought I’d look into it in more detail here.

Mouchard [mu.ʃaʁ] can mean:

a snitch, grass or tell-tale (police informant) – also known as indic, cafteur or cafard in French
a bug (hidden microphone)
a spyhole or peephole
a tachograph (device that records the distance and time traveled by a vehicle)
(a piece of) spyware
a spyplane
a black box, flight recorder

It comes from mouche (a fly, bullseye, historically: a spy employed by the ancien régime to seek out subversive ideas) and -ard (pejorative suffix), from Middle French mousche (a fly), from Old French m(o)usche (a fly) [source], from Latin musca (a fly, an inquisitive or prying person) , from Proto-Indo-European *mu(s)/*mews- (fly). Words from the same roots include midge in English and Mücke (midge, gnat, crane fly, mosquito) in German [source].

Related words include:

mouchardage = informing, grassing, ratting
moucharder = to rat (on), to tell tales

The French word mouchard has also been borrowed into English, and means an undercover investigator or a police spy, especially in a French-speaking country, or an inverted compass hanging above the captain’s bed. The activity of such people is known mouchardism [source].

Other fly-related expressions in French include:

faire mouche = to hit the bullseye, to come off, to hit home, to hit the nail on the head
mouche de coche = back-seat driver (person who pretends to be useful by offering unsolicited advice or by running around without actually doing any work)
pattes de mouche = scrawl, chicken scratch (illegible handwriting)
prendre la mouche = to get offended, to get in a huff, to fly off the handle [source]

Are there interesting equivalents of mouchard in other languages?

Bons mots

6 March 20266 March 2026 By Simon

What connects bons mots with mottos and muttering? Let’s find out.

A bon mot [bɒn məʊ / bɑn moʊ] in English means a clever saying, a phrase or witticism or a witty riposte in dialogue. It comes from French bon mot [bɔ̃ mo], which means the same thing, or literally “good word”. You can also find bon mot in Dutch, Indonesian and other languages [source].

The word mot [mo] in French means a word, note, (short) message or the answer to an enigma. It comes from Middle French mot (word), from Old French mot (word), from Late Latin muttum (a mutter, grunt), from muttīre (to mutter, murmur, talk quietly) from muttiō (to mutter, murmer), which is of onomatopoeic origin and signifies “make a mu-noise” [source].

Other French expressions featuring mot include:

demi-mot = a hint (“half-word”)
fin mot = the real story, the (whole) truth (“final word”)
gros mot = dirty word, swear word (“coarse / rough word”)
grand mot = a strong word, strong term (“big-word”)
demi-mot = a hint (“half-word”)
mot d’esprit = a witticism, bon mot (“word of spirit / wit”)
dernier mot = last word

Other words from the same roots possibly include mot (word) in Catalan, motto and mutter in English, mote (nickname, motto) in Spanish, Motto (motto, slogan) in German and motto (philosophy, motto, watchword, byword) in Polish [source].

By the way, the plural of bon mot in French is bons mots, but in English it can be bon mots or bons mots. What about in other languages?

Silly Madness

26 February 2026 By Simon

The word mishegoss came up in a book I’m reading at the moment, and I had no idea what it meant, so I thought I’d find out.

Mishegoss [ˌmɪʃəˈɡɒs / ˈmɪʃəɡɒs] is apparently a slang term meaning madness or silliness. It comes from the Yiddish word משוגעת (meshugas), which means craziness, madness, nonsense, crazy talk, senseless activity, irrationality, craze, fad or quirk. That word comes from Yiddish משוגע (meshuge – crazy), from Hebrew משוגע (m’shugá – mad, crazy, insane), from שיגע (shigéa – to drive crazy) [source].

Words from the same roots include mișegos (petty) in Romanian, мишигас [mʲɪʂɨˈɡas] (maddness, insanity) in Russian, мешигос (mešyhós – maddness) in Ukrainian, mesüge (crazy) in Hungarian, and meshugge (crazy, mad, senseless, insane) in English [source].

I think I’ve heard or seen the word meshugge before, though I wasn’t sure what it meant at the time. Apparently it’s been used in English since at least 1880 [source]. Is it mainly used in American English?

Some related words in English include:

mashugana = nonsense, silliness, craziness, garbage; a person who is silly or crazy
meshugaas = nonsense, rubbish, craziness, a chaotic state of affairs, a mess
meshuggener = crazy, insane; a madman, a crazy person, a nutter

Do you use any of these words?

Omphaloskepsis

13 February 202613 February 2026 By Simon

Do you engage in omphaloskepsis?

Omphaloskepsis [ˌɒmfələˈskɛpsɪs] is a very useful word that means the comtemplation of or meditation upon one’s navel, or in other words, navel-gazing. Another definition is ‘Ratiocination* to the point of self-absorption’. It comes from Ancient Greek ὀμφαλός (omphalós – navel) & σκέψις (sképsis – perception, reflection) [source].

*Ratiocination = Reasoning, conscious deliberate inference. Thought or reasoning that is exact, valid and rational. A proposition arrived at by such thought [source].

Related words include:

omphaloskeptic = One who contemplates or meditates upon one’s navel; one who engages in omphaloscopy. Likely to, prone to, or engaged in contemplating or meditating upon one’s navel.
omphalomancy = Divination by means of a child’s navel, to learn how many children the mother may have.
omphalopsychic = Related to or characterised by navel-gazing (omphaloskepsis). Someone who engages in omphaloskepsis, a navel-gazer.

The Modern Greek word ομφαλοσκοπία (omfaloskopía – the action or effect of omphaloscopy. A method of divination involving the examination of the umbilical cord) is also related [source].

The Ancient Greek word ὀμφαλός (omphalós – navel, umbilical cord, anything navel-shaped, centre) comes from Proto-Indo-European *h₃m̥bʰ-l̥- (navel), from *h₃nebʰ- (hub, navel) [source].

Words from the same roots include umbilicus (navel, middle, centre), navel and nave in English, ombelico (navel, umbilicus) in Italian, nombril (navel, belly button, middle) in French, umbigo (navel) in Portuguese, buric (navel, belly button) in Romanian, naaf (hub, nave) in Dutch, Nabel (navel, belly button, centre, middle) in German, and imleacán (navel, belly button) in Irish [source].

By the way, I found the word omphaloskepsis while putting together a Celtiadur post about words for navel, centre and middle in Celtic languages. It appears in the definition of the Welsh word bogailsyllu [bɔɡai̯lˈsəɬɨ / boːɡai̯lˈsəɬi], which means to comtemplate one’s navel, or to engage in navel-gazing or omphaloskepsis [source]. If you are omphaloskeptic, then in Welsh you are bogailsyllol (given to navel-gazing) [source].

The bogail [ˈbɔɡai̯l / ˈboːɡai̯l] in bogailsyllu means navel, umbilicus, belly button or afterbirth, a boss on a shield, a knob a stud, a nave, the hub of a well, middle or centre [source]. It should not be confused with bogail, which means vowel.

Words that mean navel-gazing in other languages include: navlepilleri in Danish, navelstaren in Dutch, nombrillisme in French, Nabelschau in German, and navlebeskuer in Norwegian [source].

Little Friends

4 February 20265 February 2026 By Simon

In Mandarin Chinese, one word for a child or children is 小朋友 (xiǎopéngyǒu), which means literally ‘little friend’. It’s generally used by adults to address children.

My god-daughters, Isla & Mia

The other day when talking about my experiences in China, I translated 小朋友 from Chinese into French as petits amis, which means boyfriends. I was talking about children, and didn’t realise I’d said something unusual until my friends looked at me strangely, and asked if that’s what I really meant. I assured them I was talking about enfants (children) and not petits amis.

Other ways to refer to children in Mandarin include:

孩子 (háizi) = child
小孩子 (xiǎo háizi) = (small) child
儿童 (értóng) = child(ren)
孩童 (háitóng) = child
小儿 (xiǎo’ér) = young child
少儿 (shào’ér) = child
娃娃 (wáwa) = baby, small child, doll

Source: https://www.mdbg.net/chinese/dictionary

Words for older sister – 妹妹 (mèimei), younger sister – 姐姐 (jiějie), older brother – 哥哥 (gēge) and younger brother – 弟弟 (dìdi) – can also be used to refer to children in Mandarin.

Other ways to refer to a child in French include:

bambin = toddler
bout de chou, bout d’chou, boutchou = sweet little thing, little one, little tot
chérubin = cherub
fils = son
fille = daughter
galopin = urchin, scamp, brat, ragamuffin
gamin = kid, street urchin, street kid (dated)
marmot = kid, brat
minot = kid, lad

Source: https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/enfant#fr

Have you mistranslated terms like I did?

Are there interesting words for child(ren) you know in French or other languages?

Ideophones

28 January 2026 By Simon

What does the word tututu make you think of?

It’s an ideophone from Bebe (Naami) a language spoken in parts of Cameroon, and to a speaker of Bebe, tututu suggests the sound of a grinding mill.

Other ideophones in Bebe include:

kpaŋkpaŋkpaŋ = the sound of a bell
gbaaaŋ = the sound of a door closed with force
waaa = the sound of a running water
ŋgɔɔɔŋ = the sound of a lion roaring
ŋaaaŋ = the sound of a baby crying

Source: Naami Orthography Guide, by Grace Tabah and Mkounga Tala Blaise

You can find out more about Bebe on Omniglot – this is a new page I added today, and finding out about the ideophones in this language inspired me to write this post.

An ideophone is a member of the class of words that depict sensory imagery or sensations, evoking ideas of action, sound, movement, color, or shape. They are also known as mimetics or expressives. Unlike onomatopoeic words, which imitate sounds, ideophones can also indicate action, state, intensity, smell, colour or manner. They are common in such languages as Japanese, Korean, Tamil, Yoruba and Zulu.

Here are some examples:

がぶがぶ (gabugabu) = gulping, guzzling, gulp gulp – Japanese
きびきび (kibikibi) = briskly – Japanese
しとしとと降る (shitoshito to furu) = to rain or snow quietly – Japanese
가물가물 (gamulgamul) = (light) fading away into the distance, moving away faintly, in a blurred manner – Korean
버글버글 (beogeulbeogeul) = boilingly while spreading in all directions; bubblingly while spreading in all directions – Korean
꽁냥꽁냥 (kkongnyangkkongnyang) = lovey-dovey – Korean
படபட (paṭapaṭa) = fluttering – Tamil
புசுபுசு (pucupucu) = soft and bushy, fluffy – Tamil
விறுவிறு (viṟuviṟu) = energetically, lively, spicy – Tamil
khazimula = shining brightly – Zulu
qaqa = bursting – Zulu
jabula = happily – Zulu

Does your language have ideophones, or anything similar? Do you have any interesting examples?

For more information about ideophones see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ideophone
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Category:Korean_ideophones
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Category:Japanese_onomatopoeias

Outside Aliens

15 January 202621 January 2026 By Simon

As a non-Chinese person in China, a word you’ll hear quite a bit is 外国人 (wàiguórén), which means foreigner, foreign national or alien. Some people like pointing out any foreigners they see, and they might say or shout 外国人 at them, assuming they won’t understand.

Me in front of the Old City Wall in Zhaoqing / 我在肇庆古城墙前

外国人 [外國人] (wàiguórén) could be translated literally as “outside country person” or “foreign nation person”. A slang version is 歪果仁 (wāiguǒrén) which literally means something like “slanted fruit benevolence” or “askew results humaneness” [source].

When Chinese people look at me and say 外国人, I might reply by saying I’m not a 外国人 but rather a 外星人 (wàixīngrén), which means space alien or extraterrestrial. This often gets a smile or laugh. Or I might point that to me they are the 外国人.

When I worked in Taiwan, I was officially an alien as I had an Alien Registration Card, which I found quite amusing.

外国人 is a formal and polite to refer to a non-Chinese national, and seems to be used particularly to refer to people who don’t look Chinese or Asian. Other ways to do so include:

老外 (lǎowài / lou5 ngoi6) – “old foreign” – this is an informal, slang term for foreigners, particularly foreigners of non-East Asian ethnicities, and is used throughout China in Mandarin and Cantonese. It is seen as offensive or rude by some [source]. It can also mean a layman or amateur, and in Cantonese it can refer to a father-in-law, specifically a wife’s father [source].
鬼佬 (gwai2 lou2) – “ghost man”, “devil person” – used in Cantonese and Eastern Min to refer to a foreigner, particularly a white Westerner. It is considered derogatory [source].
洋人 (yángrén) – “ocean / foreign person” – refers to a foreigner, especially a westerner or Caucasian. Used in some varieties of Mandarin, Gan, Hakka, Jin, Wu and Xiang [source]
外宾 [外賓] (wàibīn) – “foreign guest” [source].
国际友人 [國際友人] (guójì yǒurén) – “international friend”.
外国朋友 [外國朋友] (wàiguó péngyou) – “foreign friend”.

In China, people who were not born in the area they live are known as 外地人 (wàidìrén – stranger, outsider, non-local, out-of-towner) by local people. I met quite a few such people in Zhaoqing [source].

In the few days I’ve been in Hong Kong, I’ve seen more 外國人 than I did in 6 weeks in Zhaoqing. There, it’s rare to spot a 外国人 in the wild. Here, they’re more common. Today, for example, I heard 外國人 speaking English, French, German, Dutch, Russian and other languages I didn’t recognise. There were quite a few at Victoria Peak, which I visited today.

A view from Victoria Peak (太平山), Hong Kong

In Japanese, 外国人 (gaikokujin) is used to refer to a foreigner, an alien, a foreign national or a person who is not Japanese [source].

The informal version, 外人 (gaijin), is used specifically for foreigners of European ancestry, and used to mean any outsider, or an estranged or unfamiliar person. After Japan opened up to the outside world in the 1850s, 外人 started to be used to refer to foreigners, especially foreigners in Japan. It is considered negative and pejorative by some these days [source]. It can also refer to ethnically Japanese people who have grown up outside Japan and are not Japanese citizens [source].

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Category: Words and phrases