Assorted 'useful' foreign phrases

These phrases come mainly from phrasebooks and language courses. Some of them are intended to illustrate particular grammatical points, others I just found amusing. Finding occasions to use them might be quite challenging, but you'll probably have fun trying. Maybe you could use them as ice breakers, chat-up lines, as part of a comedy routine, or for some surreal conversations.

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German

Wo kann ich einen Tierarzt finden?
Where can I find a vet?

Wir wollen Ihre Kühe und Schafe sehen.
We want to see your cows and sheep.

Ich bin kein Teilnehmer dieser Konferenz, dennoch möchte ich einen Pinguin.
I am not a conference delegate, nevertheless I would like a penguin.

Kocht die Magd die Blätter?
Is the maid boiling the leaves?

Die kleine Tochter des dicken Bäckers gab dem klugen Neffen des alten Schneiders einen Brief.
The fat baker's little daughter gave the old tailor's clever nephew a letter.

Ich werde die Bauern, die da auf uns zukommen, fragen, ob die Straße, auf der sie gekommen sind, schlecht ist.
I shall ask these peasants who are coming towards us, if the road by which they have come is bad

Nein, aber vielen Dank für Ihr freundliches Angebot.
No, but thank you for your kind offer.

Ich möchte kein Gas, können Sie es mit Kokain machen?
(at the dentist) I don't like gas, can you do it with cocaine?

Ich glaube, ich bin mit den Nerven herunter und ganz auf den Hund gekommen.
I think I'm done in and going to the dogs.

Für so einen kleinen Mann hast Du aber sehr grosse Nasenlöcher!
You have very large nostrils for such a small gentleman.

Keine Elephanten in der Bar nach 8 Uhr!
Elephants are not permitted in the bar after eight o'clock.

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