The other day I received an email about how you say, or rather don’t say, please in Danish.
The translation I had on my Danish phrases page was Vær så venlig, which apparently is only used to hurry people up, or urge them to do something in a passive-aggressive way.
When making a request, for example, you simply state it, and then say tak (thanks). There’s no need to add an equivalent of please.
It is possible to use phrases like Hvis du vil være så venlig at … (Would you’d be so kind as to …), though only at the beginning of a sentence. For example, Hvis du vil være så venlig, at hjælpe mig? = Would you’d be so kind as to help me? Or Gider du .. (Would you …), as in Gider du hjælpe mig (Would you help me?).
Other ways to ask for help include:
– Undskyld mig, men kan du hjælpe mig? = Excuse me, but could you help me? (formal)
– Hej, kan jeg lokke dig til at hjælpe mig? = Hi there, Could I lure you into helping me? (informal)
In writing what you do is make a request and then put På forhånd tak (Thanks in advance). Younger generations also use this verbally as a polite way to end a request, and this is the closest equivalent of please.
Another way to make a request is Må jeg bede om… (May I beg for…), which is what Danish children are taught to say. Or you could use Vil du ikke være sød og … (Would you not be sweet and …) – using the negative is considered polite.
More about Danish manners:
http://www.xmel.com/denmark18.html
How is please or its equivalent used, or not used, elsewhere?
Bengali dictionaries typically translate “please” as দয়া করে [d̪ɔe̯a koɹe], the perfect participle of ‘to be gracious’, ‘to do a favor’, but you’ll be hard pressed to hear this outside formal contexts (e.g. in speeches, announcements, and writing). Bengali speakers will usually tell you that that is the word for “please”, but that people just don’t use it.
What they might not tell you is that colloquially, there are particles and constructions people use convey the same idea. One common particle is একটু [ektu] or [iktu] (lit. ‘a little bit’), and one common construction involves using the verb দে- [d̪ɛ-] ‘give’ as a benefactive vector (using the South Asianist term). They can be used together as in এটা একটু করে দিও [eta iktu koɹe d̪io] (lit. ‘this-CLASSIFIER a.little do-PRF give-FUT.IMP’, as in ‘give-do this a little bit’) for “please do this (for me)”.
(PS, for those who are curious, yes I use alveolar symbols for what others call retroflexes in Bengali.)
Some of what that page says works in Russian etiquette, too:
> Putting anything in the negative form makes it more polite in Danish
In Russian, too, e.g., “Won’t you pass the salt?”
> you may not take the last item on any given plate.
Or as some say, “Not even a policeman takes the last cookie.”
Could this have been brought by the Varangians who ruled Rus 1000 years ago? 🙂