the better joke is:

Portuguese is just Spanish being spoken by a drunken Frenchman

Then what is Catalan?

But those are just personal perceptions, there are people who say French is Catalan with pharyngitis or English is German but talking with your mouth shut...I agree mostly with the first statement, though....

Not cool!
Y'all need to quit hating on Portuguese. Honestly, I can't fathom how someone could like Spanish better...

Well, Spanish just seems more straightforward to me. Portuguese is a mess.

But don't worry, I still want to learn it. I've come to appreciate its charm.

I met the caretaker of a/the Jewish cemetery in Bucharest. I spoke English (fluent) and a bit of Russian. He spoke a few words of English, some Russian (from childhood), Romanian and I think yiddish. The last two languages I do not know but could figure out some of the meanings from context or the fact that they are cognates. I spent about 1+ hour with him and it was a wonderful experience.

Spanish being spoken by a drunk Spaniard?

There's another kind?

perhaps i should've included a degree adverb such as "very"

I think maybe Lao speakers and Thai speakers may be able to converse without too much difficulty.